>> david: that's all right, nobody can see that. it will spread to the general population. i can tell you what it's been like to be a part of it so far, which has been really exciting. Den 4 juni gick Stockholm All Stripes internationella bowlingturnering Strike a Pose av stapeln i Stockholm fr andra gngen i historien. >> guillermo: sorry. we've gone far. i'll tell you that. it's black and white. i saw it 11 times. >> way back, baby. then after the merch and everything, we had our next location. you know?" >> rob: yeah. >> you know how a few months ago we heard donald trump flushed documents down the toilet? i probably have like gray hair, to be honest. it's lit! >> rob: paco easter. and it comes with a 2-year rate guarantee. please welcome amandla stenberg! o'er the land of the free >> play ball! it was like a real wild reaction. so when prop 27 promised solutions to homelessness, i took a good, hard look. >> it's a slasher movie. and you guys used to go because you're fans of the show. well, "hunger games" just ripped it off. >> i'll lose my job if i do that. >> i have a great one. >> get him out of here. imagine how much better your life would be if every morning you woke up and you could just navigate the iphone and be just transported to another world like when you were 8 years old. This material may be protected by copyright law (Title 17 U.S. Code). [ laughter ] >> david: wait. she really is a super woman. i want all of you to know i'm taking a break.". does he not have an iphone? i don't want to put you on the spot. [ laughter ] wayne, i need my flomax. >> j.k. simmons looks like anthony davis. >> dana: that's cool. we need to fix something on the instagram post that you posted announcing -- >> david: what did you do, amandla, what did you do? love him. now, i don't mean to brag. okay, guys, since you all came out tonight to watch me host every time that i or anyone on this show says the magic word everyone in the bar gets a free beer. but the biggest thing i want people to realize is that it's not over. in short, 27 means getting people off the streets and into housing. they came to me, do you want to run this marathon? guillermo? [ laughter ] i'm doing garth at 91. it's really fun. you can stay at my mom's place for a couple of nights. so we had kumail on earlier and we were talking about "star wars." i should have done better. all right, cory bellinger, one more thing. tonight, ashton kutcher, amandla stenberg, l.a. doger cody bellinger, music from jessie reyez. >> how are you doing? >> there's no way that's a strike. [ laughter ] stuff like that to really build me up. >> david: okay. right now? >> david: that is beautiful. how's it hanging? now before we get going, i know a lot of you are probably wondering if i'm going to do any of my old impressions from "snl." this is very serious. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. feeling good. Vi vill p alla niver bedriva vr idrott s att den utvecklar mnniskor positivt svl fysiskt och psykiskt som socialt och kulturellt. it's right around the corner. thanks, gary. dan: and i am dan ashley. >> i'm joe biden, and i approve this message. no equipment fees. and so i got to make a lot of fun phone calls about it. he's big papi and i'm little papi. and i'm like, man, this is a lot of running. t-minus 321 lift off we're here to have some fun! >> david: chicken casserole, baby! i'm talking about them all day along with the customers. a mashed potato started long time ago with a guy named sloppy joe you'll find this dance is so cool to do come on baby, gonna teach it to you mashed potato feel it in your feet now mashed potato come on and (music throughout), (vo) the fully electric audi e-tron family is here. you know. and then i couldn't remember my lines with just my voice. Simu Liu, pictured at the Bullet Train premiere in Los Angeles, August 2022, will host Jimmy Kimmel Live! on August 24. you're starring in the new "star wars" series, is it? i had a beer in my hand while bowling. no did you say yes? i know that you sprained your ankle recently too, right? pulisic! anna is the script. >> buying into the big lie does not help our democracy. so why not hook community centers up with wifi? because if you slow it down and, watch it again, i think biden was actually trying to punch mbs. [ cheers and applause ] they're the best audience. >> dana: just say [ bleep ]. turn up for the grilled lobster, shrimp and salmon trio and our hottest summer duo, steak and lobster! welcome to my show! Get the latest and most updated news, videos, and photo galleries about Jimmy Kimmel Live. and he loves them. it's meta. last week the white house officially declared monkeypox to be a "public health emergency." >> rob: this is charlotte's -- this is your first talk show. yeah, baby! hey, big man, we're in the middle of something here. i can't take that, man. >> so nice to see you, rob. the audi e-tron family. you know, using the word loosely, obviously we know steve mcqueen. WebThe LA Bowl is an annual NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) college football bowl game played at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California, inaugurated on December 18, 2021.The bowl has tie-ins with the Mountain West and Pac-12 conferences. happy anniversary. [ laughter ] that's not as funny as it used to be. crazy, right? okay? a man -- the man's the best. i do it every day. thank you, rob. "i'm taking a break. which was kind of crazy. applebee's all you can eat boneless wings. >> you're the one that didn't want lines anywhere in the office. oh, right. and you knew? of course not. so how many of you are visiting from out of town? that's how we do the episode titles on our show. >> oh, yeah. >> i'm maisie from st. george, utah. >> partner, right here. he's also looked exactly the same since the nixon administration. >> basically i joined the cia, i'm not allowed to talk about anything at all. yeehaw! had to do the whole thing for myself. >> guillermo: yeah, it is. i have friends who get competitive about it, we text about it. he deserves that dirt. that's big. >> yeah. >> it's my first one. Dana Carvey guest hosts; director Quentin Tarantino; actress Julia Garner; DOMi & JD BECK and Anderson .Paak perform. grab some pruners. or in another room taking up space. like now because of climate change it's always sunny everywhere all the time and we're all going to die. how're you doing? it's just you and your people. exploration always carries risk. you see? TV Archive on my weddin anniversary the movie that we made about us meeting and us falling in love. >> david: yeah. next thing you'll be holding a spatula. she'd say stuff like, "oh, i see you put one new joke in your little act." i don't know whether it was, like -- it was like an old -- so. >> i went and started doing this investor stuff, it sort of worked out. with "once upon a time in hollywood." Jimmy Kimmel Live! last aired five original shows from Brooklyn the week of Oct. 21, 2019. it's called "welcome to wrexham." what is old joey b know about my life? but honest answer is -- not gonna do it. >> david: okay, that doesn't sound -- >> the issue was, i had not capitalized "the force." 17 years. how you been? >> guillermo: yeah. you look poor. he's really into zombies. >> david: what, now? >> i went for a training run last weekend, i did like 17 miles, my nipples started to bleed, david. >> really. [ cheers and applause ] >> kind of hung up just a little bit -- i moved the map. >> i don't know. >> david: as you know, i'm in the "star wars" family too. anybody on the show. free flight to costa rica? [ cheers and applause ] >> david: welcome back. he got to play in this year's all-star celebrity softball game at dodger stadium. i didn't -- i just -- i've never -- >> seriously. so is an oral-b. come on, knuckle block, baby! In Thursday night's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" do you want to win for ruth or anna? >> rob: oh. and under 30 seconds. ( ) ask your healthcare provider about rybelsus today. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm telling you. >> well, we'll see. all electric, all mercedes. but the best is when he does leo zombie. you know, these rebound covid cases are quite rare. well, that's all i got, man, that's all i got. wealthy tribes with big casinos make billions, while small tribes struggle in poverty. grew up there until she was 6, moved here. instructor: come on milwaukee! i did a ton of stuff when i was a kid. >> that's cheating right there, that's cheating! but i think it would be easier. and faster and faster and faster. >> dana: did you have to lose that accent to become this character? can you believe that? [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. >> where there's these -- there's a -- an extraordinary idealogical divide between the urban centers and the rural centers of this country. when you're with amex, it's never a question of if you'll make it happen. that's it, actually. did she really make you give up your ticket on the space -- the rocket? how did it go, guillermo? This material may be protected by copyright law (Title 17 U.S. Code). with models that fit any lifestyle. it's called "the right stuff." >> guillermo: hey, how are you, man? that's a strange sock. i want to thank quentin tarantino and julia garner. 27 taxes and regulates online sports betting to fund. like even slightly. "the big sick" is the movie. you're here -- i found out david was hosting and i was like, this is the night i get canceled. [ laughter ] oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that is erica and keenen who are behind the bar tonight. what did you think about her music? calm down. and on the way home i decided to get a slice of pizza on the way back to the hotel. [ laughter ] >> so i -- from a very young age, "oh, entertainment is rough." they did a radio version. WebRed Hot Chili Peppers Jimmy Kimmel Live The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2022 Alice in Chains 2022 Tour w/ Breaking Benjamin & Bush DATES TICKETS Jimmy Kimmel we're sorry that you had to endure years of bad dates and wasted time with people that don't see the world our way. just my impression of jason bateman on "ozark." so it's like the greatest audience in the world. ball inside. vote no on 27. that's a lot of cake. healthy. back in the back. >> david: you almost -- you were going to say it, though. i just need a little bit more. >> i never meant to break any laws here. how about the secret child of jabba the hutt that he and princess leia had from that one time they hooked up on spring break? i'm like, i could do anything today. well, the toilet's clogged. saving people money on more than just car insurance. >> yeah. no annual contract. can we stop with the title. tj maxx. that's our mission. >> yeah. but if they were to meet in the forest, like who would win in a fight? back there! oh, excuse me, another one. >> dana: "inventing anna." like you really did a great job. whoa. and you baked all these yourself? we were on "little nicky," adam sandler's -- >> yeah. hello. when your sisters come to town and you say, it's on me. crushed it, little bro. >> david: we're not together because i still got anger behind that. >> two kids, yeah. >> that's terrifying. Late Night Host Jimmy Kimmel revealed in a recent interview that his constant jokes about Donald Trump cost him nearly half his audience -- and rightfully so. i play this game every day. my a1c stayed here, it needed to be here. >> dana: why? (laughter) what are you doing tomorrow? and she says, i know. Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). [ laughter ] >> rob: so on the "obi-wan" --, >> we're just changing the topic? [ laughter ] no human being in the world. >> dana: i love this story. >> it's going to be eric. i enjoyed the night. [ laughter ] >> you know, we've been together seven years. >> rob: yes. >> oh! hi. but are you like ruth at all? >> david: guillermo, you did something pretty cool with the dodgers this week? [ laughter ] ka-dink! beck featuring anderson .paak from the mercedes eq stage. >> that's really sweet. do good. yes, queens, it's your old pal joe. wow us. because my first -- i live with bagel now. very little is left for the homeless. >> yeah. please say hello to the very talented julia garner. i start off like i'm confused. [ laughter ] >> david: let's move on, let's move on, let's move on. waving. it's our nature. (dance music) ( ) ( ) pringles. and we will be right back with kumail nanjiani! cetaphil. season 3 premieres in fall on apple tv plus. right? >> david: you went deep cover on him? okay, once you're in the app, you're ready to post a date. with guest host david alan my wife and i go, we're going to go there to lunch and i say "that's a good plan. i see you've got some dag swag. i've talked to charlie about this too. with cleto and the cletones. will you add a motorcycle? you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. >> david: that my acting teacher directed. >> oh! >> dana: and wherever you get your podcasts. so she had seen "straw dogs" that weekend. >> her emotional pleas for mercy. what well, an internetorrow? well, i just [ bleep ] that up for you guys. i cannot read this fast! [ laughter ] know the safe word for each and every manatee. so one of our things that we do right now -- okay. put these bad boys on. that's how we take care of our most valuable asset our people. oh, your agent can help you make sure it's just what you need. it's hard. i endorse same-sex marriage. >> it's a whole different vibe. they learn tunes. >> i am swell, how are you? >> hey, what happened to you? >> bagel clifton. australia has bestowed many gifts upon us -- uggs, vegemite, speedos, platypuses, and our next guest, whom i have the pleasure of co-starring alongside on the series "mythic quest." [ laughter ] >> david: yes. i didn't know i was swerving. you know what i mean? and then i have these little routines that we do and we actually do them together. Aubrey Plaza on Jimmy Kimmel Live August 17, 2022. >> that's the same as going to space. and they start playing a game of -- i think what most people would know as werewolf. yep [ cheers and applause ] yeah! By Jimmy Kimmel Live. >> david: yeah, take them, man. i get it. yes. you always have the whole place to yourself. but when he gets on the bike, he becomes [thunder] zen zach. >> how could you not? so where do you think this pressure's coming from? >> david: what's up with that, man? [ laughter ] "my body is chock full of man-made muscle milk. this is your difference maker. >> thanks for being here. the new xfinity supersonic bundle. i'm greg. keep the nerves away. there's one thing i can't do from home. had this amazing screenplay that he wrote. 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Unfortunately, Jimmy Kimmel Live is no longer a talk show it is a partisan news program for the far left of the Democratic Party. i had two lines. >> that's it. >> rob: so what did you getler? >> david: it's a whole different flavor. but i'm here to help. at first he's like i want to pump you up. gallbladder problems may occur. [ laughter ] first of all, let the manatee know you're about to make contact with a clear request for consent. >> yeah, i don't know. because there's a hurricane that is hitting their town. [ cheers and applause ] what? >> so anytime i or anyone on this show says that word kimmel buys the bar a round. >> david: yeah, uh-huh. >> yes. that's why i take quviviq nightly. >> david: you want to put them on? [ cheers and applause ] then he'd do the number thing. all right. >> fly ball. 3 activities (last edit by yesiammrgraham, 11 Oct 2022, 21:33 Etc/UTC). [ cheers and applause ] we got more with ashton kutcher right after this! web pages someone likes "game of thrones." ashton, it was so beautiful in costa rica, i don't know if you remember. which is what "hunger games" was based on. and no one was doing an accent. and it comes with a 2-year rate guarantee. now you're never going to win. >> guillermo. She is an American writer and actress known for movies like Murder and Mystery, Dumplin and many others. so they learn the canon of music. it would be interesting to do a very special crossover episode, would it not? and i know you very well. and the first -- the very first thing he says to me is, "i want your abs." what's in your wallet? WebJimmy Kimmel Live! i don't know whether it was "cannonball run" or "smokey and the bandit." she's going to stand up. round cleans better by surrounding each tooth. [ applause ] that's wonderful. i don't really know what we're talking about anymore. right now on jimmy kimmel, >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy >> i feel very lucky. [ laughter ] >> rob: oh. it may sound cheesy but we like it that way! >> david: it's no joke, man, it is no joke. i hope you're ready for action. >> guillermo: i do. you're about to get to know the real me. >> please. i hope you brought security or a. bat. >> dana: your brain is still taking it in. you did a goobly goobly wobbly. >> oh. and this wasn't taught to him. Repeat of Aug 24 2022. nobody. WebThe LA Bowl is an annual NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) college football bowl game played at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California, inaugurated on December 18, a lot of people are mad with president biden because of the way he greeted the crown prince of saudi arabia. [ cheers and applause ]. strike. >> buddy. one, she got you something. >> but i, as you have noticed, i don't have the boot on and i don't have a cane. >> rob: zero. Capture a web page as it appears now for use as a trusted citation in the future. >> dana: well, it's so interesting the way you change your -- your face kind of when you're doing anna, you know, it's like you're -- because you have the -- >> what do you mean my face changes? now, how -- >> hey! >> guillermo: yeah, i watched "forrest gump." let's forget about "sunny," guys. and here's -- >> a picture of -- that's a room in my house. >> guillermo: that's it? >> yes, that was the move. it was all women because this guy who started the club wouldn't let men into the club other than -- during the performance men couldn't come into the club and so they would do this performance and they would tell the actors playing the audience to not make a sound to get the dialogue and all that stuff. and -- >> what's up? >> guillermo: me? >> now you're talking about the costa rica thing! [ laughter ] >> rob: was that the trick? i'm great with kids. sorry. but you know -- [ cheers and applause ] so harvey keitel was hosting "saturday night live." you can't dispute it. i'm gushing. ruth would be like what is this? so -- >> dana: okay. a dad question. Like most late night talk shows, Jimmy Kimmel is filmed in front of a live studio audience earlier in the day and then airs a few hours later. i am a busino i eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. >> guillermo: i got a nickname for our team. you might already know that prop 27 taxes and regulates online sports betting to fund real solutions to the homelessness crisis. with models that fit any lifestyle. >> dana: hello! Guest Host Nicole Byer, Heidi Klum (Making the Cut), Kirby Howell-Baptiste (The Sandman), Musical Guests Seventeen. he had the long cigarette hanging just like brad did when he was on "don't whine. >> i do, yeah. our ian pannell back on the ground. and i remember, like, you know -- at a very young age, being on sets from mcdonald's and stuff like that. Det r ocks en referens till idiomet of all stripes, vilket betyder of all kinds eller av alla sorter, fr att visa att vr frening r en plats bde fr en mngd olika sporter men ocks fr mnniskor med olika bakgrund samt allt som ryms inom hbtqi. bring the runner, joe! so now i'm actually coming up with theories, which maybe i. didn't -- i didn't have film theories when i was in my -- a teenager. it's a game where every day you go and they show you a still from a movie and you have to guess what movie. it went great. 90% of the money goes to the out-of-state corporations who wrote it. [ laughter ] >> rob: thank you. ah, thanks! i get to work, and i'm like what am i going to get her? >> i will say this. kimmel." and there's ways that people can help. "bodies bodies bodies" opens in theaters nationwide tomorrow. >> rob: that's right. it's called "schweed!" [ laughter and applause ] >> dana: that's great. and i was like, oh, man, a marathon, okay. on a serious note. and i'm at work. >> david: gee. [ laughter ] >> are you ready? [ applause ] happy to hear that. >> rob: one which leads to many. you have to call your agent, "just don't send me anything for a little bit and i'm good." tonight -- quentin tarantino, julia garner, and music from domi and jd beck, featuring anderson.paak. [ cheers and applause ] 15 years. kill me, you [ bleep ] wolf? that's jordan. he's a natural. ready? >> dana: you knew my name? [ cheers and applause ] >> david: really? so now almost every sing-along thing that he watches is -- has monsters in it. >> david: oh, that's so great. long term. >> yes. hi. i'm sorry, jon, but i'm already in love with insurance. >> you didn't know who i was. your impression of a zombie was amazing. here with the song "i'm standing here," trombone shorty and orleans avenue! and i remember thinking that was the last time i was ever going to see those sides of ruth langmore. all electric, all mercedes. i've got to call her and tell her. (laughter), >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes e-q. >> it was a party i wasn't professionally obligated to go to. so you sent out a post without capitalizing "the force"? so when prop 27 promised solutions to homelessness, i took a good, hard look. >> dana: you're just immersive into film. [ cheers and applause ], >> dana: wow. probably four or five now. >> you cannot do that to beloved actor bryan cranston. and what setting. hey, joe. do you know mafia? [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what the [ bleep ] -- oh, what's the line? so now i'm waiting for emily to wake up. the local deli. i'm not a kindof mixture of my characters. cards? >> the whole office is outfit for web 3, but most of the world is in web 2 transitioning to web 3. if i have to be honest, i'd say i'm actually web 4. metaphorically speaking of course. and i thought that maybe sean connery and brad pitt are bookends for the alpha male endless charismatic sex symbols, but also just this intelligence and charisma. so i had a school psychologist, she liked movies and i liked movies. were they utilizing that trick? at state farm, we're there for your "what ifs." >> guillermo: yes, sir? that is longer than all of my relationships, marriages, and hookups put together. because you took care of your money and all that stuff. >> dana: you're up in the bleachers. who am i, dana? [ laughter ] i can't say anything. quviviq may cause temporary inability to move or talk or hallucinations while falling asleep or waking up. >> leading off here in the bottom of the second, bryan cranston. (vo) the fully electric audi e-tron family is here. >> did you just discover that? >> thanks. we just had our 15th wedding anniversary. >> it is. Uploaded by now, i get that it's a big deal. please welcome ashton kutcher. only on "jimmy kimmel live." thank you for having me here. well, you got to do stuff for your family. >> what patients are facing. >> it depends on what kind of -- >> dana: weapons were available? >> that's right. and women are forced back into the shadows. go finding. homegoods. [ cheers and applause ] , [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: all right. beck with anderson .paak. "nightline" is next, but first, her album "yessie" is out september 16th. you were wearing the boot and you were -- you had a cane. >> guillermo: my name is -- guillermo. This material may be protected by copyright law (Title 17 U.S. Code). [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah! Sterling Mosley August 10, 2022. >> well -- it's a little about abilene. check the age of consent in your state before matching. ok! and then my wife had to deal with it. and with no preset spending limit, our purchasing power adapts to our business needs. 48 hour hydration. now, this is for the. that's why i couldn't hit the ball. [ laughter ] and then after a while -- >> a lot of people saying that part. because what is this if not pure unbridled passion? well, any weirder than faking a burst pipe? >> drinking alone. good lord, quentin tarantino, what a life, what a film career. [ laughter ] "no joke. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm waiting for eh, eh, eh, eh that's what i'm waiting for [ cheers and applause ], this is "nightline." WebThe official Jimmy Kimmel Live! >> to losers. can you put these in a safe place and don't let anyone touch them? the new pastrami cheese steak. we have a firm called sound ventures and invest in startups. i'm a little embarrassed about actually hawking my podcast. it's not like he's singing to the romero movies or anything. anncr vo: taking rybelsus with a sulfonylurea or insulin increases low blood sugar risk. >> david: every year, clayton kershaw holds a celebrity ping-pong tournament for his charity, kershaw's challenge. american tequila, here i go. rivulets of blood. i know a lot of fun spots. >> i've talked to you about this. "vengeance" is in the theater now. can i do one more? that's it from the celebrity softball game. Milwaukee sisters Chauntee (far left) and Monique Ross (second from right) perform with Brandi Carlile (far right) and Kyleen they're amazing. plus, they felt fast itch relief some as early as 2 days. until a librarian asked me to take it out. i just felt like johnny carson. The Ross sisters, now based in Nashville with their own band SistaStings, play violin and cello in Carlile's band. it was one of the best scripts i've read in like a decade. talk to your doctor about rinvoq. Milwaukee sisters Chauntee (far left) and Monique Ross (second from right) perform with Brandi Carlile (far right) and Kyleen King at Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee on August 5, 2022. we've got music from trombone shorty. you can see how that works, right? >> dana: here's a question i have. it scared the hell out of me. we've known each other for quite a while. but i do have some experience in this type of thing. give it to me. >> david: what kind of startups have you invested in? you seem surprised. thinks that's a joke. but i think we're looking at this the wrong way. i was so moved. are you telling me -- this is the best wife in the world, mila? that's why i'm passing out rally moustaches, so we can win. >> rob. quviviq may lead to doing activities while not fully awake that you don't remember the next day, like walking, driving and making or eating food. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: thanks, julia. YouTube Channel. we love each other. no, i'm in the audience. >> it m ju rd is [ cheers and appouan g podcasntf the show is that we basically take the old video cassettes of -- from the -- we're not watching them on blu-ray. it's a great day. moderate to severe eczema still disrupts my skin. we've got to do all that we can to continue to support. so clean, you'll feel like you just left the dentist. >> yeah. i try." >> then lucasfilm found out that i was going to comic-con, and they thought, oh, this is the perfect time to announce you as -- as, you know -- >> david: as? and if he gets mad, kimmel, while he's on vacation, i'm going to blame it on -- >> guillermo! >> what's up, player? [ laughter ] and speaking of jimmy, we have two very special guests in the audience tonight. yeah. >> but i get this text. 90% of the money goes to the out-of-state corporations who wrote it. and now, rob mcelhenney. people 50 and older with at least one heart disease risk factor have higher risks. how about monkey guillermo? >> i'm nervous with everything. and mrs. kimmel would always be very, very encouraging. >> guillermo: yeah. Slipknot appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2009 alongside Paris Hilton. i'm just here for the mints. i hope that's not your joke, buddy. bold move for some, another day in the fall for you. [ laughter ] take your time. [ audience: aww ] grand opening, grand closing. he said -- i was standing there with glenn howerton, who plays. it's about a group of young people who go up into the woods, they have the genius idea of having a hurricane party. ahhh. and i was with imani hakim. but guys, i'm also a writer, a director, an entrepreneur. olay brightens it up with olay vitamin c. gives you two times brighter skin. >> no, no! well, we -- i met the rest of the actresses, jessie, imani, and ashley, at a wardrobe fitting i think before we started filming. what i love most about it is it's invite only. >> what is wrong with my face? we were actually in the same room at one point. ll the stress, all that. i mean, we've all become really close. >> dana: so you kind of grew up -- did you go to the local deli, hey, julia, you want a tomato sandwich over here? i'm looking for someone who appreciates high rois and even higher rpms. (2003 ) Episode List. what?! >> david: guillermo hooked up, with cody bellinger of the dodgers to get their pong on. permanent solution to homelessness. for me, like acting -- i just wasn't excited to go to work every day. let me see your togo, and i'll show you. this is not the right reaction. [ laughter ] >> the fact that i never had to push you out of a body part of mine. no did you say yes? [ laughter ] and i've fallen in love. wealthy casino tribes who want all the money for themselves support small tribes, address homelessness. [ applause ] >> yay! did you do anything special? you know, it doesn't matter if you choose left or right because they're both chewy, crunchy and delicious. all the exhilaration, none of the compromise. >> yeah. i've never done any stand-up. request to come ashore. this is a disney show. >> wow. and there's so much great television that i'm just happy that every -- so i'm just happy to be there. [ laughter ] and three, now i've got to get her an anniversary present. this time around he snagged the biggest celebrity of them all, our very own guillermo. and if you don't get it right you get another still. >> how fun that you just get to be here the whole night. >> abilene. >> yeah. [ laughter ] oh, no, it's a vopper. oh, no, no, no, no. >> david: yeah, it was great, i had a lot of fun. (vo) we are cyclists. and they were very, very, very, very good. now you can save big on supersonic wifi from xfinity. (music playing throughout) la la la la la i'm a fancy exercise bike noobie. >> he just intuited that no, i'm supposed to bite you now. that's for you! as hunger takes hold. we'll be right back with julia garner. i'm a blanch. 8:00 a.m. i call her and i say hey, emily, you should play "framed" today. so if we guess, will you tell us? we'll be right back with music from trombone shorty. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. [ cheers and applause ] now, a lot has changed since we started doing "always sunny." >> rob: season 3 of "mythic quest" premieres this fall on, apple tv plus. our mutual friend said you've been calling and said that you're sorry , and said that you wish we could talk well guess what you're about seven months late our mutual friend don't know that you're too self-serving but i do and that's why your words don't mean and guess what this heartbreak morphed into hate and you should be grateful that i didn't hurt you back if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is our mutual, friend had front row tickets to all our events every time that you played all your games well guess what i've got no hobbies and never again will i let you turn me back into a mess that grows on a carton of milk and guess what the karma's you love me still and you should be grateful that i didn't hurt you back well if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights, don't care if it sound cold it is what it is our mutual friend asked me how i sleep with so much hate in my heart i told him i sleep like a baby told him i sleep like a baby if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it is what it is yeah yeah and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold it it is what it is and if you died tomorrow i don't think i'd cry i gave you one too many nights don't care if it sound cold is what it is , this is "nightline." don't you love it? he's back on his feet and as healthy as a 175-year-old horse. flo, you're here. [ laughter ] but i looked closely and it was just real uniform. >> the funny thing is, now i watch all these -- all the actors that -- when they decide they're going to take a break, like they make a public announcement out of it. through elegant design and progressive technology. that's david, my best friend in the whole wide world. [ laughter ] this is when he was much slimmer. i'm trying to make it more about -- >> no. i mean, come on. [ laughter ] i did a lot of things but that was the worst thing i ever did on a talk show. >> to the afterparty. 100%. the sxm app -- >> if you do it it's okay. halloween time is back with spook-tacular experiences in disneyland and disney california adventure parks! 2 min read. you know the crumbs at the bottom of the bag are the finale to your. flavors. where you can pay famous people to record messages for your friends? you know the thing, there's something like -- annoys -- so it's -- i just started -- i just got excited about it. [ laughter ] hey, did you guys see the fist bump heard round the world? [ cheers and applause ] n! you know the crumbs at the bottom of the bag are the finale to your mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich. [ laughter ] >> david: i was liquor -- liquor lagged, something like that. >> well -- okay. we're no etiquette experts but biting into your mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich and ending up with a whole pickle slice dangling from your mouth, isn't impolite. i seem to remember you, engineering some kind of trip to a spa. ryan reynolds, jamie foxx, ashton kutcher, kaitlin olson, david alan grier, abbi jacobson, plus music from tones & i, jesie reyez, and the shins. [ cheers and applause ] >> dana: we've got a great show for you tonight. progress that moves you. right now in jimmy >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" look. you're going to have an amazing time. [ laughter ] you remember we went to costa rica? well well well, what have we here? addy0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f = addy0840ecc4edc17d63374a9e7b662c257f + 'stockholmallstripes' + '.' + 'se'; it's so good to see you! well, i think we all know where he's going when he's jimmy kimmel dead. what? >> lou: ha ha, it's funny because there's a cuss word. oh, all that. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! and she says she remembers me saying "i'm going to throw up now" from the pain. >> i was like -- i always went -- then we had kids. >> it was only that once. >> we did go to costa rica. >> what? [ laughter ] she made you give up the seat? >> dana: it's so great. >> it's about the myths that we tell ourselves. in hell! >> you guys, this is vi. kumail, your new show. [ cheers and applause ] boom. >> dana: garth is part me, part my brother. i just didn't think you'd have, like zero stumbles and very good at reading prompter and all that stuff. >> david: how did do you know b.j.? i just do impressions of those celebrities and charge pennies on the dollar. no. thanks. >> what? you only have to call one person. [ cheers and applause ] she is incredible. did i forget to knock? is that -- >> dana: well, because you were so not her. >> guillermo: that's a new style. and i believe we have a clip of something you shot when you were a little girl. Get the SEVENTEEN Setlist of the concert at Jimmy Kimmel Live, Los Angeles, CA, USA on August 18, 2022 and other SEVENTEEN Setlists for free on quentin tarantino! She is 44 years old as of August 2022. i had two slippery monkeys at the hook n crook. it's in the conversation with the same group! now, are you preparing for a marathon? [ laughter ] would anna outsmart her? because i think it captured exactly where america is right now. >> i have the best wife. var prefix = 'ma' + 'il' + 'to'; >> here we go, belly and belly versus two random dudes. for my when i see your movies i have to see them a lot of times. $1 delivery fee on our app. with someone you wouldn't take a bite. it's bill clinton here. active types are cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, thank you. >> i want -- you know. it's workout time. >> david: well, i was -- >> jet lag? >> that's it for guillermo and cody. [ laughter ] you know, he -- i don't think these -- i don't think these baby shows taught them that the zombies eat people. feet?! on the Internet. here's guillermo. >> rob: peppy plumstead. so, i'm a beach side hotel. [ laughter ] you know, but then if it was in a forest ruth would know what to do for sure. >> yeah, can i say the special drinking word? Today, critically acclaimed Vermont singer and songwriter Noah Kahan reveals new tour dates for summer 2023 as a continuation of his sold-out Stick Season Tour produced by Live Nation. >> listen, i love doing marvel and "star wars," but you know, adding that to it would be awesome. dennis on my show, and my wife kaitlyn. Den hr e-postadressen skyddas mot spambots. and seeing ronald mcdonald chain smoking cigarettes. >> dana: he doesn't know they -- died and came back died and came back [ laughter ] >> he kind of has figured it out. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." she's a gorgeous little cat. [ laughter ] and then -- he was so on edge, we were, because we wanted this grandpa presence because we had four years of shouty mcfatpants. because ruth is a bad-ass. >> and now bryan cranston steps to the plate representing the tying run here in the bottom of the fifth. >> rob: yes. >> shut the front door. now people like to make this announcement, "i'm retiring." [laughter ] >> rob: i was going to say i wasn't sure if i was the first person you'd said it to that night. >> yeah. >> david: so that's a pretty late start. >> listen, life is an act, dana. >> i don't know. >> dana: you know, i'm shy like that. >> lou: from >> david: she took you out of space ticket, you couldn't fly pon the rocket. i called up peloton. hah, you see that? everyone. >> rob: thank you. >> david: you know, the thing i like about you, ashton, you were saying now, you only act when you want to. ok, you can look. you choose the time and place. pressure, pressure, pressure. cranston's going to head to third. but maybe we'll get to that point. hey kenan! [ applause ] >> david: you're solid. [ laughter ] what did you post? >> rob: pretty good, right? it's one pill, once a day, that's effective without topical steroids. we built a firm. >> yeah. beets. okay, we've got a great show for you tonight. how many people in the audience is this your first talk show? ba da ba ba ba . when i was a child. get allstate and be better protected from mayhem for a whole lot less. can i have these? Monday, 29 August 2022. >> oh, okay. but they've already put out a very informative commercial. >> this is so fun. >> okay. when we come back, music from jessie reyez. anna could wine and dine, you know. >> dana: i got a good question. [ laughter ] anyway. >> dana: oh, really? it's just you're this incredible director and then you're this guy too. so leaving out the rape part, she told me the entire story from beginning to end. >> and i was on a show on hbo called "silicon valley." this character, when i first saw it, i was like, this is interesting. it's cool, but some of the celebrities on there charge like 300 bucks so i started my own app -- [ phone ding ] slow down. >> well -- um -- it's about america. [ laughter ] a lot of actors are so shy. Stockholm All Stripes Sports Club r en av Sveriges strsta hbtqi idrottsfreningar, och den strsta som erbjuder ett flertal olika sporter. >> guillermo: now you're going to play much better, or maybe worse. >> so he invited me. insurance! At the 95th Academy Awards on March 12, Kimmel will take on hosting duties for the third time. we'll see. >> guillermo: you've got to call some strikes. but i can't because you lost it in a boating accident. we'll be right back with quentin tarantino! neutrogena hydro boost, lightweight. it's basically tinder for bigots. not just anyone can join. it was not jedi-like. hey, lindsey! opening monologue, Jimmy Kimmel called out Kanye West. the last show you came to, joan, you brought me some leftovers of your very famous chicken dish, what was that dish? i don't know yet. >> absolutely not. okay, leo zombie. you gained a lot of weight. this is antonelli's cheese shop and we're the antonellis! and kumail comes walking over with his wife, emily. [ laughter ] "well, jimmy kimmel live. all right. >> of course i knew. it's really, really not cool. fall hard with a $3 medium pumpkin cream cold brew. it's just you and your people. you know, all of that. with geico, we can easily bundle home and car insurance and save even more? . drive! let me tell you something. >> oh, my gosh. Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. don't let corporations exploit homelessness to pad their profits. every story we tell is ultimately about a person. yeah, it was funny. [ laughter ] but biden came out as a really sleepy sweet grandpa. you get six different frames from a movie and they get easier as you go. oh mmmm. so i'm doing the romero zombies. i can never find this damn thing. WebJimmy Kimmel Live! i don't know. when you go to the game total power move. >> guillermo: rookie of the year. when he's like, we know how to get natural gas. jimmy said he misses you all very much and he will be back sometime in the year 2025. >> we raised over $30 million to help. we built this nonprofit up that fights against the sexual exploitation of children. man, we go way back, way back. [ cheers and applause ] you have to crack a new one. don't miss red lobster's seafood summerfest. [ laughter ] >> dana: wow. >> david: crushing, man. here we go. you're absolutely amazing. money for nothing time after time finger on the button rolling the dice , tempted the devil bull by the horns i can't see nothin' eye of the storm and i'm anxious can't fall asleep without grinding my teeth i'm sweating bullets bullets are sweating me shakin' like a leaf from my head to my feet but i'm standing here and i'm ready have no fear are you with me time is near keep it steady long as i'm here tinker or tailor soldier or spy weight on my shoulders feelin' the grind do what i want with the time that i got whether we go down in water or fire but i'm anxious can't fall asleep without grinding my teeth i'm sweating bullets bullets are sweating me, shakin' like a leaf from my head to my feet but i'm standing here and i'm ready have no fear are you with me time is near keep it steady long as i'm here , >> announcer: this is "nightline." and i fell right down. i know you love being on "mythic quest," as do i. but i believe it's your dream to be associated in some way with the "star wars" -- >> my whole life is just a child to "star wars" pipeline. it's named after the video rental store in manhattan beach where you two met -- >> that was the store we both worked at. >> david: a car or a spaceship? i should jump in front of a bus, see what happens. i just want to say, it's been so great reconnecting with you. from the smash hit global phenomenon everybody's talking about on apple tv plus "mythic quest" charlotte nicdao is here. i just watched it. [ cheers ] >> david: damn! they -- you do have to be nude in them. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. >> oh, yes. here it is. and you know -- >> rob: i knew you'd be a great guest. i'm sorry.